parents & carers

The transition through the teenage years is not easy for all concerned. Engagement and conversation on any issue can be difficult and embarrassing for parents and carers, particularly sex and relationships. Equally it can be embarrassing for teenagers to have their parents/carers talk about the subject. You may feel that your child receives enough information from various sources like school, TV, books, magazines and films. However, talking to your teenager about sex and relationships can be a positive experience and help them to develop into confident independent young people, who can make informed choices regarding their sexual health.

Talking and being open with your teenagers can mean they start having sex later than they otherwise would and are more likely to have safer sex. Not talking to your teenagers about sex and relationships could affect them for the rest of their lives as they may pick up the message that somehow sex is wrong or should be kept a secret.

Television, magazines, newspapers, films, the internet and social media often suggest that everybody is having sex and that it is freely available to teenagers. However, the majority of people under 16 are not having sex and a high proportion of those who do have sex before they are 16 regret it.

Sexual Health D&G works in partnership towards supporting young people in delaying early sexual activity. However, it also recognises that some young people will start having sex before they are 16 and it is important to meet their safer sex needs.

Sexual Health D&G offers a range of services to young people aged 13 and over. There is an Under 20s drop-in clinic at DG1 on Mondays 4-6pm;
» phone appointments are also available. Free Condoms by Post are available too, which, apart from access to free condoms, is a vehicle to educate them in sexual health issues and to inform them about the services that are available.

Helpful Tips

• Most teenagers want basic information and not a biology lesson but want to talk about their feelings, how they cope with them and if they are normal.
• A good idea is to raise the issue when you are watching TV together. The TV soaps always have topical teenager issues featured in them. However, try not to be judgmental and reassure your child that you would always listen to them.
• Just because they may be embarrassed or may be arguing with you it doesn’t mean they are not listening. They may take the message away and think about it later.
• Try not to preach but to explain your own values and principles around sex and relationships.
• Listen first and then talk as this will enable trust to be built up. Also you will learn how much they know and how much information they are looking for.
• If you don’t know be honest and say that you will find out for them.
• Most Teenagers balance taking risks with being responsible and it helps them to be independent, safe and healthy if you talk to them.
• Research suggests that young people want to be able to talk to their parents and care what you think (even if they don’t admit that to you!).

When you talk, make it as natural as you can and this will reflect that sex and relationships are a natural part of all our health.

Further Information

» parents-sandyford.scot/primary